Dan’s Top 10 Songs of 2018!(At Least according to Spotify) Part Two

Part One can be found here if you care enough!

 

5:

The Greatest Show

The Greatest Showman soundtrack.

Okay, confession time. I was VERY Late to the Greatest Showman party, had I simply watched the movie earlier I genuinely believe a few more songs from the soundtrack would be in the top 10.

However, I knew I’d love the Greatest Showman and I wanted to keep the songs a secret until I watched the actual movie itself, this being the only song I allowed myself to listen to pre-watch.

It’s just everything you need in an opening musical song really, isn’t it?

The build, the anticipation, the drop, the feel good factor. Extra points because occasionally the song comes on down town, and thus I can make a prick of myself.

Favourite Lyric.

“WEEEEEEE Light it up we won’t come DOWN! And the sun can’t stop us nowwww”

4:

Handclap

Fitz and the tantrums.

WILDCARD ENTRY.

So, again…. Won’t have to go too far back to find this but early last year I watched The Power Rangers movie and LOVED it.

In that movie came the cliché training montage, which was partnered with this song.

As such, it was heavily in my rotation, especially when I quite sadly envisioned my own Fat to slender training montage (Which is still yet to happen….Maybe that’s why it got so heavily played?)

Favourite Lyric

“I can make your hand clap

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP”

(Clapping sound, not some bloke screaming clap)

3

Rap Devil

Machine Gun Kelly.

HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT HERE.

So, of course MGK Beat Eminem in the most played rankings, despite me previously saying I didn’t have a fucking clue who he was.

Now, this song I played just before listening to Killshot to really get the whole back and forth of the rap feud.

However, another confession (A lot in this post, ain’t there?)

I simply liked this one better.

I found it catchier, and whilst I of course liked Killshot I didn’t really understand the disses at MGK because I had no clue who he fucking is.

Whereas I’ve been following Eminem since I was 14, so the shots at him I not only understood but thought were quite good too.

Also, I know the lyrics word for word, which is quite unsettling.

Favourite Lyric.

“Drop an album called kamikaze so that means he kill him, I already fucked one rappers girl this week don’t make me call Kim”

2:

Swish Swish

Katy Perry ft Nicki Minaj

“I need to stop listening to this song because it’s gonna get into the top 10” I think to myself as I put the fucking song on again.

This is the top shame of my year. Not only that I actively liked the song but that it was repeated heavily on my way to and from work.

Fuck it, I liked it. Originally for Nicki’s verse but eventually the entire song…The beat, chorus, and sassy lyrics won me totally over.

Here’s the part I didn’t quite realise though.

I thought the song was a jibe at an ex or some shit like that.

It’s not.

It’s a fucking diss towards Taylor Swift, which to this day I have no clue how to feel about.

Favourite Lyric

“Mirror mirror who’s the fairest bitch in all the land?”

And number one….

To my great shame, and a surprise to absolutely nobody assuming during the summer of 2018 you spent five minutes with me.

1:

Freaky Friday

Chris Brown ft Lil Dicky

Straight off the bat let’s get something clear, here.

I fucking hate Chris Brown and legit cannot wait until he just disappears as a human forever.

With.

That.

Said.

This last year he released a banger, but I’m putting all that down to him Piggy backing off of Lil Dicky.

I happened across the song at pres with a friend.

“Put Chris Brown on” she suggests

“Ew…absolutely not” I reply in disgust, but alas Chris Brown comes on, and I’m immediately bopping my head along to the catchy opening.

Months, nay weeks later I’m screaming in joy when I hear the opening beats, I’m screaming the N word down town, and dancing like an absolute fucking moron.

And that was just down town. Let along all the times I listened to it on the way to work, for pres, at the gym, pretty much every occasion called for Freaky Friday to be played.

My greatest song is also my greatest shame, such is life.

Favourite Lyric.

“Cuz I’m that nigga nigga nigga nigga, I’M THAT NIGGGGGGAAAAAAA”

–

And that. Is. THAT. Another year, another top 10 completed. Tune into next year, and probably next blog post for what’s gonna smack my music taste in the head this time around

Peace x

Dan’s top 10 songs of 2018 (At least according to Spotify) Part One.

Heyyyyyyy, look at that. Last year I had somehow managed to wait until August before getting round to playing to top played songs of 2017, this year I’ve somehow only gone one months worth of delay in this anticipated list.

Let’s…….for now, skip the fact that despite A LOT in my life changing since my last post I’ve once again failed to post anything at all since October. I want to tell you right now that I’ll change that this year, but we both know that’s probably a lie.

Anyway, it’s only the second year of this new tradition being in practice in which Spotify kindly tells me my top played songs of 2018. The competition is usually fierce given that I practically live with a pair of earphones wired to my ears, so to earn a top spot in the top 10 is quite the achievement (Doubt the artists would particularly care, but let’s pretend for a second this is a coveted award).

A quick reminder, even though you’d only have to go back three posts to see this, we’re going to glance over the top 10 songs of 2017.

10: Song of the Ancestors – Moana Soundtrack

9: Shape of You – Ed Sheeran

8: Dear You – Lucy Spraggan

7: Alive- Sia

6: Perfect Places – Lorde

5: New Man – Ed Sheeran

4: You Can’t Look Back – Taking Back Sunday

3: Don’t Leave – Mo

2: You’re Welcome – Moana Soundtrack

1: Young and a Menace – Fallout Boy.

With that said, let’s take a look and see who’s going to get a top 10 spot in 2018.

10:

Five in the Morning

Charli XCX

Charli isn’t even a secret shame at this point, a song that advertises casual drug use and bad decisions.

A legit, sad confession right off the bat here, should there have been a night in which I did a Dan classic and took things too far this would be heavily considered my anthem, one of which I’d seek out to play should it have been 5 in the morning.

Favourite Lyric:

“Would you stick around for the comedown?”

9:

Twisted By Design

Sum 41

Always have, and always will be one of my favourite ever bands, Sum 41 can pretty much encapsulate any tone in one of their songs. Whether the tone they’re conveying is an upbeat pop punk summer song, a song of idiocrity, or a more serious one.

This time, Sum 41 have gone for a somewhat defiant, serious song.

Somehow this turned into an active song on my gym playlist. (When I actually once).

I’ve also shamelessly used song lyrics as my Facebook on a multitude of occasions.

Favourite Lyric:

“‘I don’t believe in fate although this time, I think I’ve met my match”

8:

Devils Side

Foxes

Foxes was an absolute sneaky one in the past year or so, if I recall “Scars” had narrowly missed out on a top 10 2017 slot, but this year she made it on with a song just as dramatic.

An actual heart breaking topic of song, and one that I often listened to on the way home from work, but only when the weather was dramatic enough to match the tone of the song. (So a rainy night, basically).

Also a heavy hitter in the “Single life of Dan” soundtrack when I finally get round to writing the fucking thing.

Favourite Lyric

“I want you, but not for your devils side” (Also posted drunkenly on Facebook once)

7: Sun in Our Eyes

Mo

Mo’s bacccccccccccck.

Mo has always been a dark horse favourite of mine. Pretty much every single she comes out with is absolute golden in my eyes.

And then early last summer she released a new one, ‘Sun in our eyes’ which I originally didn’t actually go much on upon my first listen.

Course, I give these songs another chance.

Sat at home listening to this song? Not as Impactful.

Walking anywhere on a beautifully sunny, hot day? Almost perfect. Mo has always had a summery vibe to most of her songs, and this (along with Drum) is one of the perfect summer and beach songs.

Favourite Lyric

“And we’ll ridddddddde that wave until we’re higher than life, with the sun in our eyes”

6:

Killshot

Eminem

I had… Absolutely no clue who MachineGun Kelly was. Pretty sure nobody really did until he got into some verbal beef with Eminem.

Said beef I stayed away from, because honestly I wasn’t particularly invested despite Em being my favourite rapper.

Of course, curiosity got the better of me and I listened to both rap disses.

Eminem proves that in terms of rap battling he’s still unbeatable as MGK got lyrically torn to pieces.

Favourite Lyric

“It’s your moment, this is it as big as you’re gonna get so enjoy it, had to give you a career to destroy it”

Best call it a day for part one here!

The Winds, they are a changing. Part Two.

We left Part One on somewhat a bit of a cliff hanger. Last minute decision I assure you, but figured this event kind of deserves a post of its own.

Those out the know, Two Years ago I left my small, quiet supermarket job for a slightly larger, more busy supermarket job. I’d be going from working with 2-3 people per shift to on average 5-7 per shift.

It was daunting, it took me a while to find my feet and within a week I wanted to return to my small, homely little store. But of course I stuck it through.

I’m pleased I did as those two years introduced me to some wonderful people. Wonderful people in which I’ve let into my personal life, partied with, even bought in the new year with.

The job itself I fucking hated with every part of me, but the people there stopped me walking away uncountable times.

However, if you’ve read previous blog posts in which I’ve complained about my job and lack of direction then you’d figure out that ultimately I’d have to force a time to move on.

I’m sat here, 4 in the morning still finding to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve just finished my final shop shift.

I started working in the small shop December 31^st 2006.

Left Small Shop October 17^th 2016, just nearly missing a decade in the same store.

Two years to the very day of starting the bigger store, I clocked out for the final time.

It feels surreal as fuck. Nearly 13 years of my life dedicated to the same company that I swore to leave on what was probably a monthly basis.

I’m out of retail now. Meaning I can finally post about my horrors in retail in some blog segments itself, so someone please motivate me to actually fucking dedicate myself to that cause.

Both small and big store deserve a post of their own, and right now my mind’s a bit too occupied to do so.

Upon leaving the small store to leave for the bigger one I felt as if I was walking into the literal unknown, but I was wrong. The scene was the same, just a different and more varied cast.

This time however, I start a new job, in a complete different field on Monday.

This time I’m legitimately walking into unknown territory. And I’m only just realising this as I type it.

Fuck.

The Winds, they are a changing.

Hoh boy, look at that, Dan’s only gone and fucked off with his 3 month blog absence again, what a huge, gaping surprise to the system that is.

Guess what though? Shit has changed again. Two primary big things so let’s get straight to it.

And before you ask, no, nothing in my love life has changed. It’s still shit.

Anyway….

Our story takes us back nearly three months ago, the tail end of July when I’m rudely awoken by my phone going off…This set of events takes place at nine in the fucking morning might I add.

“Heh…..Hello?” I answer groggily, I’m immediately greeted by someone far too chirpy for that time of morning.

“Hiiiiii Dan! [Forgotten Name] here from Plymouth Estates! How are you doing today?!”

Already the guys ridiculous optimism fills me with a sense of dread, the immidiate question looms over my head.

When do I have to be out by?

“Nooooo noooo it’s nothing bad…….Okay, it’s bad but it’s not your fault”

“…….”

“I’m afraid we’re gonna have to give you your two months”

Long story short. The Library that we lived above closed, as a result we lived above 5 floors of derelict building. It was nice.

Now, said derelict building was to be converted into offices and for some reason you simply can’t live above or in offices. I dunno. I didn’t argue it.

So that was that. My North Hill palace had come to its end. We had two months to find a new place.

We literally found a place about three days before we had to move out, talk about cutting it incredibly fine.

I’m back to where I whence came, the same area I grew up in. I’ve gone seven years without living here only to return. Can’t help but feel the place as a whole is smugly saying “Well look who’s came crawling back”

It’s bittersweet. North Hill was HUGE. Easily the biggest place within budget I’ll ever get, and in addition to this it was literally just us.

The building was on the corner of the street, no neighbours. What’s more we were on the fifth and sixth floor. So loudness would have never been an issue.

As good as that flat was good to us however, it was fucking expensive. Least this was we’re saving an extra £150 a month.

Plus, the house is quaint. It has a fancy look to it, and it has a god damn washing machine, something I’ve gone 6 months without and good god is its return a welcome one.

This however does mark the third time within a year that I’ve moved.

And somehow, this is nothing in comparison to the next change in life……

Dan’s Top 10 Songs of 2017 (At least According to Spotify) Part Two.

Part One is here babes.

 

 

05: Ed Sheeran- New Man

Another entry from Divide (Ask my housemates, this album was played A LOT when it first came out)

I had a bit of a love for most songs on that album, Shape of you, Perfect, but my absolute favourite was this one.

The lyrics whilst obviously personal, have a lick of relation to it. We’ve all had moments in which we’ve had a disdain for a romantic interests new person, yet at the same time you don’t really want to know.

Catchy, and again incredibly satisfying to both sing and rap along too. I’m quite surprised this song didn’t get more of a following…

Favourite Lyric:

And everytime a rap song comes on her makes a gang sign says “CHUNE” byowdem light up de room, but enough about him girl let’s talk about you”.

4: Taking Back Sunday- You Can’t Look Back

Fun fact, right off the back. This is the song that convinced me to continue with Spotify once my free trial came to it’s end.

Taking Back Sunday have always been one of my unsung heroes in terms of bands. Whilst I wear my love for Sum 41, Fallout Boy, Blink 182, Panic! And such on my sleeve, poor TBS always get swept under the rug despite me having quite the collection of their songs.

Discovering, and falling in love with this song in February, I can’t quite remember just what I pictured to it. At the time I do however remember it was used as a drunk status about a romantic interest (“I didn’t know what I was looking for, come to think I wasn’t looking at all”)

It was a song that blasted on whilst I do the housework, a song that made me embrace the potential scary world of a new romance. And if it comes on my shuffle there’s n0 chance that it’s getting skipped, a somewhat underrated get pumped song if you will.

Favourite Lyric:

I didn’t know what I was looking for

‘n’ come to think I wasn’t looking at all

I’m not the same man

not since you came in

03: Mo- Don’t Leave.

Going through the list of top 10’s most people just knew that Mo would sooner or later rock up on this list, and justifiably so she’s made it into the top 3.

Don’t Leave is one of those songs in which you do a weird dance to, least I do. Yet the lyrics catch you by surprise with the potential to relate to. Again, many a selfies I’ve taken this year have had random lyrics captioned onto them.

Probably up there as my favourite Mo song, it wouldn’t feel out of place at pre’s, yet can also fit into a sombre mood.

Favourite Lyric:

I may not ever get my shit together

but ain’t nobody gonna love you better

than me”

2: Moana- You’re Welcome

Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?

Why, yes, yes I do actually. He’s cooking up the worlds most catchiest song.

The part of Mauri was literally created for The Rock and as somebody who actively watched WWE this is crystal clear, if Dwayne himself had released this song without context I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at the lyrics.

I Watched Moana for the first time on a shit copy in some girls living room on a date. All through the rest of this date, and the aftermath, this song was on loop. The night, the morning after, the train ride home, the brief walk home from the train station. The catchy summery jingle was the background of my mind. Constantly. Within minutes I knew the entire lyrics, I sung the entire lyrics. I am currently in a state of constant torture as I know soon that I’ll be down town when this song plays, and when it does I dread to think of the beautiful scene I’ll make.

Favourite Lyric:

What’s the lesson? what is the takeaway?

DON’T MESS WITH MAUI WHEN HE’S ON BREAKAWAY

AND THE TAPESTY HERE IN MY SKIN

IS A MAP OF THE VICTORIES I WIN

01: Fallout Boy- Young and Menace

Arguably Fallout Boy’s most controversial song to date. Constantly drifting away from their Pop-punk roots lifetime fans had been clamouring for a return to their origin music.

Out dropped the newest song and they destroyed every last hope of that.

The drastic change in tone and music was a huge risk that probably slammed the final nail in a lot of old fans coffins shut, hell I ever forced my poor mother to listen to her begrudged favourite Fallout Boy song Thanks for the memories, and then instantly played this one just to see how shocked reaction.

It took me by surprise too, and my initial reaction was nothing more than a shrug.

It was only until I put it on by chance during a pre-drinking session in which the drop of the first chorus finally reeled me in.

Absolutely bizarre dancing, and stances, the song had not only won me over, but drilled it’s way into my head to the extent were it was just constantly listened to. It was a get psyched song, a gym song, a pre song, even a song I could essentially screech.

I’ve no idea what the rest of Mania will entail, but I’m excited.

Favourite Lyric:

And I’ve lived so much life

lived so much life

I think that god is gonna have to kill me twice.

–

Dan’s Top 10 Songs of 2017 (At Least According to Spotify). Part One

DISCLAIMER

I am late……To pretty much everything, should I say I’ll arrive to a club, venue or house party by 10….Odds are I’ll be arriving at near enough midnight.

Apparently, this logic also applies to my blog posts as I’m finally posting an entry that I wrote in fucking December 2017….Here it is.

My top 10 Songs of the year (At least according to Spotify)

Perhaps late, but I’ve only just gotten onto the Spotify bandwagon. Originally all of my music was downloaded from Youtube and plonked onto an iPod that went missing on a night out, but of course there’s a blog about that coming up….

It was a bit of an effort changing format when for the majority of my life I’ve been so use to Apple’s shit interface, and I’ve only just lately discovered that I can make playlists on the bloody thing.

Of course, with the year at a close, Spotify has actually told me about myself and my own listening habits, reminding me that my music taste is just as sporadic as I tell people.

With that said, here is the seemingly official list of…….

Dan’s top 10 songs of 2017.

10:

I am Moana!

Not watching Moana until February I went into it with pretty wild expectations. Disney has always been one of the main reasons you find my bum firmly plonked into the seat of a cinema, so there was a lot riding on my expectations.

Most, if not every Disney movie has some sort of defiant, powerful song that gives the main character their moment. Elsa embraced her powers with ‘Let it go’ Mulan broke the status quo with ‘Reflection’ and Ariel longed for something more with ‘Part of your world’ so Moana had some serious shoes to fill.

Yet, the song knocked it out the park. The movie, and character both summed up in a powerful, beautiful song.

Favourite Lyric: “And the call isn’t out there at all it’s inside me”

9:

Ed Sheeran- Shape of you.

Probably in A LOT of people’s top 10 this year, Ed bought out Shape of you as his first two singles and quite literally blew the nation away with them.

Whilst I liked Castle on the Hill…Shape of you was catchy, satisfying to sing and fit pretty much any mood. It worked as a gym song, a party song, a song if you were in a bad mood, and a song you could blast whilst doing housework.

Plus, is it just me, or does everyone do the over the top hand movements to the song?

Also, honourary mention to the Stormzy remix

Favourite lyric: “We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour, and how your family’s doing okay”

8:

Lucy Spraggan- Dear you

Sometimes a songs purpose is to just get some people to sing and dance, others it serves to tell a story, and this one is the latter.

Downloading the entirety of the album “I hope you don’t mind me writing” I had found a few catchy songs, but the opening keys of the piano compelled me to stick around for ‘Dear You’

It told a story that managed to compel me from the very first line of lyrics, and had me captivated until the final gut punching verse. The song was as beautiful as it was sombre, especially when you consider the devastating inspiration.

Favourite Lyric:

“I wanna go back. Back to when we were kids, when we didn’t know pain could feel like this, when we didn’t know hurt and we didn’t know risk. But we all grew up.

And I guess that’s it.

7:

Sia- Alive

My gym playlist is a strange place really, a medley of High School Musical, Eurovision, and Sonic the Hedgehog game music among others. Mostly upbeat songs that can cancel out the horrific pain of trying to be good at cardio.

Some songs however come out purely when I’m at that point in which I think “Fuck this, I’m giving up” and that’s where….In my opinion Sia’s most criminally underrated song takes it’s stage.

A song that would fit perfectly in an underdog montage, a song of defiance, and an anthem of never throwing in that towel. Somehow this song has actually given me that extra push in the gym, or just given me an internal montage of overcoming hardships of any sort.

Favourite Lyric: I knew what I wanted and I went out and got it, did all the things that you said that I wouldn’t”.

Additional FunFact: Song was originally written by Adele!

6:

Lorde- Perfect Places

Without any shadow of a doubt, this song whilst placing at number 6 in the official songs of the year list, this song was the anthem of my summer.

A summer that was filled with meeting new people, late night beach trips, and a ridiculous amount of drinking, partying, and walking home as the sun bleaches the night sky. Whilst it was somewhat unglamarous it was filled with memories.

Perfect Places encapsulates that almost perfectly, with the image of stupid dancing on the beach, driving freely hanging out the window, and ending the night looking like a complete mess, but loving every moment of it.

Most fitting lyric: It’s just another graceless night

Favourite Lyric:

“All the nights spent off our faces

trying to find these perfect places

What the fuck are Perfect places anyway?”

Dan’s top 5 “GET HYPE” England Songs.

July 2006

The Country was bathing in what felt like an eternal heatwave, England had just beaten their South American opponents, Ecuador in the first knock out round of the World Cup. There was a genuine belief that at last, Football was coming home.

July 2018.

The Country is bathing in an eternal heatwave, England have just beaten their South American opponents, Colombia in the first knock out round of the World Cup. For the first time in twelve years there is a genuine belief that Football is coming home.

2006 Dan was HYPE! Singing every conceivable England song in public with no shame whatsoever, the public knew darn well of my optimism and patriotism for the team.

Perhaps it’s time to bring this HYPE back into effect, but instead of singing the songs outside a Virgin Megastore I’ll just post them here.

But by all means, do feel free to sing along.

For I present.

Dan’s TOP 5

HYPE ENGLAND SONGS.

5:

442- Come On England!

“ONE NIL

TWO NIL

THREE NILLLLL

FOUR NILLLLLL

FIVVVVVVEEEEE

KEEP THIS COUNTRY’S DREAM ALIVE”

4-4-2. Take the song “Come on Eileen” and turn it into a patriotic classic. Not even sure if that was remotely possible but fuck me they had a good try and did it.

The chorus is catchy, and what’s more it’s easy to chant. All you need in a World Cup song really, isn’t it?

4:

Fat Les- Vindaloo

Arguably one of the most recognisable songs in England, but only once every four years.

I have absolutely no idea what the verses are about and to be perfectly honest I’m not sure if anyone really knows either, or cares for that matter.

However, once that chorus hits you turn into a pint wielding, St. George’s Cross donning moron. Even the most tone deaf, monotone prick in the nation can sing this song with pride and with little judgement. Sing on.

3:

Embrace- World At Your Feet.

Sadly, I reckon me and Dan were the only two people in the nation to actually like this song.

Embrace at the time I’m pretty sure were trying their damn best to be the new Coldplay, and what’s more were trying to be national treasures by pumping out an out of nowhere England anthem.

Unfortunately, a poor mans Coldplay would create the kind of England song that’s……Well, pretty much what you’d imagine. It’s not exactly something in which you can imagine a crowd of 50,000 drunk fans singing at a stadium, not without ridicule anyway.

But you know what?

I like it.

The verses are kinda preachy and pretentious, but good heavens once again, the chorus makes it. The 16 year old duo of Dan and I absolutely belted it out in all it’s pretentious glory.

2:

Dizzee Rascal and James Corden: SHOUT!

Going into the 2010 World Cup with absolutely little to no hope (Capello killed my spirit) I kind of overlooked this song at the time, but with the benefit of hindsight it’s bloody good.

Dizzee pretty much laments most England songs by encouraging us to stop going on about bloody 66, bigging up the present. (Wrongfully so, but hindsight is 20/20 I guess).

Then in comes James……

How many times am I going to bang on about the chorus being a saving grace to a song?

Well guess fucking what?! It’s happening again.

A bit more of an aggressive stance in the chorus, one that would probably look good played to the highlights of the Panama game or some nonsense like that, someone get on it.

1:

Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds

Three Lion (98)

Realistically, you could pick either the 96 or 98 version of this same, I’ve opted for 98 in this circumstance due to the relevance of the opening commentary speech of “Gareth Southgate, the whole of England is with you” as if it were written in the very stars.

This. Is. THE. England song.

It’s rightful popularity has turned the song into a saying. It’s probably the most recognisable Football chant in the world, and right now “It’s” “coming” and “home” are the three most used words in England right now.

It’s the song which despite it actually being about England’s multiple losses inspires the hope that’ll carry the nation.

It’s Coming Home, boys!

And that’s it. Dan’s Top England Get Hy-

BUT WAIT ONE MOMENT.

WILDCARD!

What I’m about to show you, is the greatest, rarest and most HYPE England song that has ever graced the internet.

A Song, that once upon a time was my internet white whale, a song that will be getting it’s own post tomorrow.

With 135 views on YouTube, I present to you Manhug!

I to this day still do not know if this is a satirical song or not. But with lyrics such as “Michael Owen is quick, he can score with his foot” and “Crouch is tall and skinny” you’d be forgiven for thinking so.

But the passion is clear, the cheery American pop-punk vibes, yet captures the great English spirit. With a beer in our hand, we will indeed travel the land Manhug, we will.

It also dons probably my favourite set of lyrics in the World.

“Come on England!

Come on England!

Come on Englannnnnnnnd

Come on England!

Come on England!

Come on Englannnnnnnnnd!

BECAUSE OF WAYNE BRIDGE!

As said, this song and our history with it deserves a blog post of its own. And it will tomorrow. (Or whenever I can be assed, but hopefully before the Quarter finals).

Dan Vs Wisdom Tooth: Round Two.

There are primarily three reasons as to why I’m writing this post…..

1: A handy update to my oh so loyal following of…….3 people?

2: As a future reminder, one day when I think I’m going through pain I’ll look back at this post and think “Ah, wait never mind”.

3: A Distraction. Now, what good a distraction it’ll be when I’m physically writing about it I do not know, but it’s better than having a pillow wrapped around my head and waiting to die.

Yes, a very dramatic follow up to our previous post, Dan vs His Wisdom tooth round two has gone underway and it would appear that it’s going to be a crushing 2-0 to the Wisdom tooth.

In our last entry we reviewed certain products and home remedies, since then the wisdom tooth has presumably fucking evolved and is now beating everything I throw at it.

Pill after pill, the pain keeps on going. I’ve been downing paracetamol and ibuprofen as if they were crispy M&M’s to no avail whatsoever.

I’ve purchased another tube of numbing gel, it’s numbed my entire mouth out! Tongue, inner cheeks, gums, the pain in that one specific corner still reigns on.

I’ve even given the salt water another whack as a dental nurse friend of mine suggested I give it another go, and somehow against every conceivable odd it made the throbbing worst.

The newest addition to my army against the tooth is Clove Oil, which

1: Fucking burns

2: Fucking stinks.

I literally stunk work out with the stuff, everywhere I went the potent smell followed.

I just used it again, mixing it with a cotton wool swab, for a good five minutes the pain subsided a little bit, only to come back.

I used it again….The pain continued.

To top this off, the tootheache is now mixed with a real fucking severe headache, the kind of headache that renders you useless and impossible to focus.

I don’t have an opportunity to go dentist until Monday however. Minimum, so it’s a weekend of pain for me, potentially.

–

ONE HOUR LATER UPDATE.

This tooth pain, obviously has left me not really wanting to eat. Whilst this is probably fantastic for the diet I keep threatening to go on, it does leave one rather hungry.

I’ve just made myself some garlic meatballs, and figured I’d mix it with the formerly reviewed remedy…..Raw onion.

Fuck me, I think it’s a miracle food. I’ve eaten a few strips of onion and there’s no tooth or head pain. So, as such I have taken a small plate of onion in strips and dices, just to mix things up.

For the first time in a few days the pain is minimum. If I can manage a night sleep without waking up in pain 5 times, then oh my goodness I am buying a barrel of onions.

Dan Vs His Prick of a Wisdom Tooth. (And Remedy Reviews!)

When did this horrendous, pain filled journey begin? When was the defining moment in which Evolution itself betrayed me? When did my body chose to despise me this much?

There’s no sense.

There’s no reason.

There’s no wisdom.

But there is a Wisdom Tooth and it’s fucking hurting me.

This whole, messy, horrible business began years ago. Longer than I can really recall because back then it wasn’t much an issue. I noticed some weirdness going on in the back of my mouth, but took little notice. I assumed I had somehow cracked a tooth so just took a bit more care and delicacy whilst cleaning it.

A year or so progressed and it started hurting slightly, just a slight inconvenience but again….. Nothing worth truly noting.

Then, in early 2016 it started to really fucking hurt.

Only little windows of pain were felt, maybe twenty to thirty minutes of tooth pain per day, but good heavens did it really fucking hurt in that timespan. But that was it, just half hour of my twenty-four hours.

As the months progressed the half hour turned into an hour, and sometimes that hour could turn into two hours.

It was a hot summers day in the middle of August 2016 when I decided to take action.

Behind the checkouts in work, my tooth felt as if it was going to rip through my mouth itself. Agonisingly throbbing, I could feel it pulsating.

“Aw, you know what? Fuck this I’m gonna go to the emergency dentist after work” I moan through the headset in work.

I had then made the store baker ring up an emergency dentist and book me an appointment. She rung up and boom! I had myself a 2.30 appointment. Bish, bash, bosh.

The same day, I’m now sat in the waiting room of the emergency dentist. Ironically for the first time that day my tooth had stopped fucking throbbing, but we’re here for the long game.

I’m called in. A German woman and her assistant welcome me to the little room.

“HeeeehLow, Daniel. What ezz the problem you having?” She asked in the thickest German accent I’ve ever heard.

“Oh, well! I think I’ve cracked the tooth in the lower right hand side of my mouth. It’s constantly throbbing, but hurts heaps more if I’m eating and drinking”.

From there I’m placing my head in this giant weird……Head machine X-Ray machine. A few moments pass and she’s looking through the pictures.

“You have Wisdom tooth come through”.

“I do?”

“Yizzz”

“Oh, I thought it was a cracked tooth”

“No, eet is wisdom tooth”.

Feeling stupid enough as it is, that it’s just that. We proceed with the next plan, which was to have the little prick tooth taken out. All I had to do was await the confirmation letter “A few days later”.

It never. Fucking. Came.

So I put up with the pain from August to December. And miraculously….Almost without me noticing, the pain just…..Disappeared. The hours turned to days, the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months without the pain.

Occasionally there’d be a niggle of a pain, but nothing in comparison to the hellish days of 2016. Life was good.

Sunday 6^th May 2018.

Walking home from work, I feel a slight niggle of pain in the offending tooth, enough for me to warrant taking an Ibuprofen. I live the rest of my life.

Monday comes round and the pain is more persistent. By night time it feels as if it’s the worst its EVER been. Constantly throbbing and stabbing for hours on end.

As opposed to the pain coming and going every so often it’s been coming more and going less. Pretty much being a constant irritation for days on end. As I type this entry it’s throbbing away making its cuntish presence very well known.

Without a shadow of a doubt I’m going to the dentist at the next available opportunity. However, this could be a while away so I’m going have to put up with this agony for a few more days…..Maybe weeks.

I’ve tried a mixture of home remedies and medicines to combat this, and figured if anyone is in the same situation, I might as well review them.

Dan’s Wisdom Tooth Remedy Reviews!

Paracetamol:

Available over the counter, Paracetamol was my first attempt in fighting the tooth. Whilst in the past it’s been relatively successful, this time even the extra strength wasn’t quite cutting it. Plus, it was powdery, gross, and I have an embarrassing inability to swallow the pills.

Dan Rating: 1 out of 5.

Ibuprofen:

Again, over the counter medicine was my go to. Little snazzy sugar coated pills (Probably a bad idea to get the sugar coated ones given the problem, but it sits in the mouth better).

Proven to reduce swelling, I thought my gums have probably taken a battering so they might work. Relatively sure they didn’t, but at least it didn’t taste vile.

Dan Rating: 2 out of 5.

Codeine

Zach had some Codeine handy, so he gave me a few pills. Whilst I probably wouldn’t recommend taking prescribed pills without a Doctors consultant, we have to take into consideration that it fucking hurts and I’m a wayward, rebellious soul.

It reduced the throbbing sensation a fair bit, it was strange. I could feel the tooth trying to hurt me, but felt it less. It’s difficult to describe, whilst still causing irritation it at least enabled me to sleep last night. Plus the pills are tiny.

Dan Rating: 5 out of 5. (Best medicinally, anyway).

Numbing Gel:

Should you not fancy pills, numbing gel might be your best bet. Whilst usually used for mouth ulcers, Bonjela (Or in my case Medijel, kindly donated again by Zach) can work to a degree against the savage pain.

As a first time user it felt bizarre, but offered almost immediate relief.

However, as use has continued it seemed to be getting less and less effective. Plus, I choked on it.

Dan Rating? 4 out of 5.

Home remedy time.

Eating a raw fucking onion.

I literally shit you not, people recommend this.

Yup, just get a raw onion, cut it up. Be it in cubes, slices, chunks…Whatever, and………Just eat it.

Which I did.

No joke, for a brief few moments it stopped the pain, and wasn’t as disgusting as you’d think. If you’re really, really desperate then it’s worth a try.

Dan Rating: 3 out of 5.

Shoving a piece of bread on the pain.

Zach recommended this one, and to this moment I’m still not sure if he was dedicated to a really weird prank.

You just take a slice of bread, rip a large piece off. Roll it into a ball and place said bready ball onto the offending pain. And it stops.

The pain subsided a tiny bit, but I also couldn’t do anything else with my mouth due to the giant wad of bread placed inside.

Dan rating: 2 Out of 5.

Salty Water

The first thing any Google search will tell you when dealing with Wisdom Teeth pain is to get a mug of warm water, and fill it with just over a tea spoon full of salt, and swish it around your mouth as if it were mouthwash.

Cautiously optimistic, I tried this.

Honestly, the most disgusting tasting experience of my entire life. I only managed the salty, warm tap water in my mouth for a few seconds before I nearly puked, spitting it back in the sink I was unable to give it a fair review on its pain soothing credentials.

Regardless, it’s official Dan Rating is a big fat zero out of five.

I’ll surely update on where this wisdom problem takes us.

I’m Back!

Okay, so….

I’ve been absent. BUT I absolutely swear to god this time it wasn’t due to some sad dramatic hiatus, or a lack of motivation.

No no.

This time it is literally down to the fact that for the past 5-6 weeks I’ve literally had no internet! (Okay, the past week I’ve had internet….But no motivation but I had a lot to catch up on).

So, lucky for you we can return to our regular scheduled broadcasting. In the meantime here’s a short update on how things have gone in the past month and a half.

1: I’m still fat

I’ve been to the gym twice in the absence of internet.

2: Virgin Are absolutely fucking useless.

So, upon moving flats I, of course had to set up internet in the new place.

Zach and I go into the Virgin store in which a guy……Literally named Guy, gives us one of two options.

Option 1: Virgin Broadband for a certain amount per month. In which we can take away right there and then! And be set up within the hour.

Option 2: Virgin Broadband, AND TV for a few quid more per month, but we’d have to wait until Wednesday to set it up.

Now, I’ve personally now gone three years without a TV Service and I haven’t particularly noted its absence in my life so we figured instead of waiting the four days (This was a Saturday) we just take it there and then.

Guy checks to see if we’re “Virgin ready”……In which we were! Hurrah!

We go home, set it up…….No internet.

We wait an hour……. No internet.

We call up Virgin to find out what the situation was.

“Oh, your house isn’t Virgin ready”.

Why Guy said we were I won’t quite fucking know. But we then had to wait UNTIL WEDNESDAY ANYWAY To get an engineer round to set us up.

Wednesday eventually strolls round.

The Virgin engineer straight up just pulls a no show.

Again, we call up Virgin.

It’s now two weeks until we can get an engineer round.

We immediately cancelled which took Zach an hour and seven transfers.

Avoid them.

There’s a thought though.

3: I’ve moved house!

It was really, really, really touch and go for a while on where the hell we were going to live as we had to be out of our property by the 28^th March. But our new pad wasn’t going to be available until 8^th April.

That said, Plymouth Estates went above and beyond the call of duty and pulled some strings along so we could be in on the 28^th March!

The new place is HUGE……..Ridiculously so.

And against every odd, my room is both huge…..Yet cosy, as the room dips into a kind of…….Attic look? Bugger it, you know what I’ll just upload a picture.

I’ve no idea how to decorate said room though……I’m thinking rustic? But if you’ve any inkling of a suggestion, then do let me know!

4: I watched Fallout Boy Live, and they were wonderful.

I, really, really, really want to see more bands live now. However, Fallout Boy have always been one of my favourite bands since I was 16, and seeing them live was an experience like no other. Cardiff is also a really beautiful city, and had I not just moved into a new flat I would have genuinely liked to moved there.

5: Infinity Wars.

I went cinema alone to watch it, and it was fucking worth it.

Depressingly, I think that’s it for the short term updates! But hey, least we’re back!